i wanna go home

"if you ask her why she does it, she will say right off hand, 'cant put it into words, guess its just part of who i am' " -Ross Gibson

so after a long weekend, it becomes completely apparent to me, that while i sit here being angry about stupid things, i am missing out on the truly imporant things in my life. being able to see your baby cousin take her first step, knowing how many obstacles she faces now and will for her entire life, hearing her say your name for the first time, being wrapped up safe in your uncle's hug, holding on with everything that you have,terrified that it might be your last chance. sitting there, and listening when he tells you what is really important in life on the way to get ice cream, trying your best to listen and remember it all because he has been there, and knows it. having your mom hug you when you do something stupid, because no matter what you do, you are still her little girl. having your big sister taking you shopping for an apartment because you are afraid to go alone, what if home is never really home again? hearing your little cousin say "i love you" for the first time. having your big brother there to hug you, because no matter what, when he hugs you, its easy to really believe that everything will be okay. having a dad who will help you make anything in the world, just because you are his daughter. its amazing when i stop to think about it, i was being angry about things for so long, there were so many other more important things that i missed along the way. perhaps the purpose of this weekend was to show me that while i was "living" my life.. i wasnt really living at all.. just going through the motions.


"You dont choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them"
- Desmond Tutu